Uncertainties of life. Highs, lows, and little bumps, all clubbed together. Taking decisions in an impulse-regretting them-justifying them-finally choosing to let things be.
Taking a look back in this year, other than a mundane routine, I see a heap of unexpected happenings-some surprising, some glum. A heap such huge, that it obstructs me to look across and get a complete figure of what I actually used to be. Right now I can imagine myself breaking free from shackles, slowly and slowly. It took time but I realized these are shackles I myself tied around me. No one ever asked me to. I just assumed that there were certain expectations from me. May be there are. But I want to hold them up without any inhibitions.
This year has been weird in ways I never assumed. On several occasions, I found myself enacting a person I never thought I would be. From minute to serious issues. It’s like, I had always been against the idea of being ‘that’ person. That person according to me was bad, or to certain extent evil. Long story cut short, I have since long been ducking behind a wall of self-imposed restrictions, with an unrealistic notion of an ideal self. And now, when I am mounting up the wall, to crawl out, things have started to appear vivid. I have finally come to accept that no one in this whole wide world lives with a bag of nil mistakes. We are actually entitled to commit them. How else are we going to learn our lessons? The point of realization is that it’s stupid to burden yourself under the load of this bag. You have to keep recycling it from time to time. These lines explain it best what I feel currently:
“When I let go what I am,
I become what I might be.”
I finally feel like taking a plunge, attempting things I always portrayed negative, while they actually weren't. Taking risks is sometimes worth it. If it brings out some smiles, it definitely is.
Minute steps, in oblivion
I know not where the road will end
Basking in an unknown enchantment,
This path lures me more at every new bend.
Tiring college schedule is depriving me of ideas. The only posts I have been writing are on topics given to me. I don’t know when I'll bounce back, but whenever I do,I want to write good. And yes, my Hill series! :D Now it’s only going to be continued as and when I get flashes of the trip. I realized, I suck at travel blogging :’D
Till next time