Saturday, November 1, 2014

New Bends

Uncertainties of life. Highs, lows, and little bumps, all clubbed together. Taking decisions in an impulse-regretting them-justifying them-finally choosing to let things be.
Taking a look back in this year, other than a  mundane routine, I see a heap of unexpected happenings-some surprising, some glum. A heap such huge, that it obstructs me to look across and get a complete figure of what I actually used to be. Right now I can imagine myself breaking free from shackles, slowly and slowly. It took time but I realized these are shackles I myself tied around me. No one ever asked me to. I just assumed that there were certain expectations from me. May be there are. But I want to hold them up without any inhibitions.
This year has been weird in ways I never assumed. On several occasions, I found myself enacting a person I never thought I would be. From minute to serious issues. It’s like, I had always been against the idea of being ‘that’ person. That person according to me was bad, or to certain extent evil. Long story cut short, I have since long been ducking behind a wall of self-imposed restrictions, with an unrealistic notion of an ideal self. And now, when I am mounting up the wall, to crawl out, things have started to appear vivid. I have finally come to accept that no one in this whole wide world lives with a bag of nil mistakes. We are actually entitled to commit them. How else are we going to learn our lessons? The point of realization is that it’s stupid to burden yourself under the load of this bag. You have to keep recycling it from time to time. These lines explain it best what I feel currently:

“When I let go what I am,
I become what I might be.”

                               -Lao Tzu

I finally feel like taking a plunge, attempting things I always portrayed negative, while they actually weren't. Taking risks is sometimes worth it. If it brings out some smiles, it definitely is.

 Pic Courtesy: Framed Figments

Minute steps, in oblivion
I know not where the road will end
Basking in an unknown enchantment,
This path lures me more at every new bend.

*Now about my MIA love, I've just been feeling numb. I’m worried about next year, about getting into a good college. And I am working too less to suppress that worry. :/
Tiring college schedule is depriving me of ideas. The only posts I have been writing are on topics given to me. I don’t know when I'll bounce back, but whenever I do,I want to write good. And yes, my Hill series! :D Now it’s only going to be continued as and when I get flashes of the trip. I realized, I suck at travel blogging :’D

Till next time

-Srishti :)


  1. hmm,you did change little bit from the day i wrote comment on your will be simple and normal when you stick to basic morals.even when people have great expectations,it won't stress you coz you will have constant personality that has constant will come under stress when one lives with fake personality.from my experiences,am the same 2yr old,i din't change over years.on any day i have constant set of emotions for everything.

    hmm srish you did change a lot but don't get scared with my opinion coz honest opinions are always productive.

    when i went to college,i din't even get time to login to mail coz engineering 1st year was that busy with assignments and drawing sheets.we have to escape from ragging too in this busy schedule,so i used to live alone far from all seniors to keep myself stress-free.

    1. People do change with time. And so did I :)

      But I bet the soul is still the same :D

      Thanks for reading, Rohan :)

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  3. As long as you are not willing destruction to another person, nothing is evil.. Only varying shades of grey... Hope you find your feet soon enough!!

    1. I hope that too. True words!

      Thanks PeeVee! ^_^

  4. We all had difference perceptions of things and were forced to change our perception over time.
    You are not alone. Change is inevitable.
    Dont worry too much love.

    1. Worries, if there were any, just flew away after this post, and your comment :D

      Thanks Red! :)

  5. Such is life, young girl! You live through childhood and teenage surrounded by ideas of expectations you "think" people have, and ideas of idealism. Then you think maybe you were a little in the wrong, and that it would be okay to do those things you never did before, but sometimes the idea of others' expectations (which might be looser than you thought) stop you, and sometimes you're just scared to let go of the 'you' you're familiar with. It takes courage to accept it and take steps, however gradual, to come out of it and take risks. To know that you're indeed not the center of the universe, but at the same, an essential part of it, so you do your best to be your best and hence, give your best :) Happy realization! I'm sure once you get comfortable with the idea (which comes with time), you'll feel better.

    All the very best for your college applications! That can indeed be tedious. Don't get stressed about not writing as awesome as you wish, because it'll best come when you feel at ease and happy. :)

    Take care!

    1. Hey Ashna! This actually helped that time.
      So, yes thank you! :)

      Being a kind of person who loves sticking to her roots, flying high sometimes scares me. I am working on that though.

      Thanks again.
      Love :)

  6. Take life as it comes.
    And yes, you have changed! 😁