Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Sunshine of our Life

A smile that spoke volumes, filled with sheer innocence and a kiddish charm. A quivering voice that had probably sung most of the lullabies for us. Sagging skin, that was the matter of my great interest since the time I could remember, as I played with it as a little kid. Eyes, though grown weak with age, always keen to learn new things. Fragile hands, showing off clear signs of years of ageing but still willing to do the most they could- This is how I’ll always remember her, my Nani.

Losing her has come as a jolt to me, something that is taking its own big time to get settled. This, in true sense, is the first time I’ve lost someone so close to me. And it hurts. It’s been more than two weeks, and even when life is falling back in to the shell, it isn’t always that easy, is it? Sure, voices around say that she had aged that much and these are things we can’t control. Then, fairly enough, even this- what I’m feeling -can’t be controlled, so I shouldn’t be stopped, right? It’s not just plain mourning, as there is this tinge of regret of not having that last talk with her, just two days before she left us. I regret for not being able to continue after that “Hello...” before someone took away the phone from her. We hadn’t had a good talk in months. Even around my birthday, she wasn’t doing well, and couldn’t speak properly. And it’s not that we had these regular talks on phone, but now when I come to think of it, I wish we had!

Having her in my life was like a habit, much like having others, from mum-dad to my close friends. Death was something to be never imagined. And just when I was thanking my stars for no villains in my life, life itself decided to play the villain. But there is one good thing to this- no regrets for never loving her enough. I hope she knew, her kiddos loved her from their hearts’ core. And as I move on, I know I’ll do that forever. And I’ll also cry, as and when I wish ‘cause her memories deserve that. I’ll cry remembering that cute smile and wishing that I could cuddle her. I’ll cry as I play her songs and wish to play with her sagging skin. I’ll cry holding her crafts and remembering how much she loved all of it. And I’ll cry as I wish the sunshine of our life had shone a little more.

In the sweet little memories of my sweetheart, I wish she rests in peace. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I hope 20 doesn't mean.....

Tests.  Assignments. Procrastination. Practicals. Procrastination. Missing Blog. Presentations. Finally Finished. Phew!
This feeling, of having done away with all the written works, nothing left to submit-TRANQUIL! ^_^
But yeah, I actually liked being busy. It kind of gives a worthy feeling, you know. No matter my assignments looked close to a doctor’s prescriptions (Docs, cool down, please! :P), I had a good time. Okay, before you start searching for a psychiatrist nearest to me, I’ll stop talking nerdy. I am still sane. :D

Now, *update**update*, a teenager ceased to exist on the 10th of the last month. I mean my teenage ended :(. And now I am supposed to be a grown up. Sheh! But hey, psychology says that the age to act all whiny and weird i.e., adolescence now stretches up to 21 years! And while this was a discovery for me, I’m over glad being still leased  to act stupid and kiddish.

I hope 20 in no way means:

§       Behaving, like a girl: Going for manicures-pedicures and god knows what other cures; keeping your nails long, and worse, coating them with colours you can’t even spell or pronounce (The only colours I remember well are the ones I used to have in my crayon-kit); tying your hair in the weirdest way possible; walking like the world’s a stage; wearing heels; and blushing.
§        Excelling in cooking delicacies from every state of India. Hell! Even the rice I cook, often turns out to be a spice-less Khichdi :/ Hey, but I CAN cook.
§        Learning to drape a Saree, and most importantly knowing how to walk with it. This is because some cousins of mine may be planning to hang themselves, I mean tie a knot, and they’d be expecting me to un-nerd myself for their big day. Decided, I just won’t go. Even if I love Sarees, I don’t want to trip and give people a reason to throw up their food, the sole thing some of them may care to attend the wedding for.
§       Wearing crisp and neat dresses, every single day to college.
§        Being no more eligible to cling to Mum/Dad/Bhaiya, while crossing the road. :-!
§        Containing myself from buying chocolates, every time I am sent to a provision store.
§        Giving away the chocolates I have stored with so much dedication, to some noisy little kid visiting us, just because he/she loves them. Hey, I love them too! And my love’s decades old.
§       Getting into serious career-focussed talks with friends. :O
§       Behaving like an etiquette-wrapped sis with brothers.
§       Serving guests some mouth-watering snacks. The most you should expect is a cup of tea, from me. And, I don’t guarantee it to be full till the top.
§       Faking maturity. Bro, are you listening? I still need you to guide me, for everything, from how to deposit money in bank to sending a courier. :/ (Fine, now I know how to do these.)
§       Differentiating  between cloth materials. For me, Viscose, Lycra...all are same :P
§       Not waiting for Mum to finish up her cone and give me the chocolate at the end. In public.
§       Not climbing up a swing meant for the 5 year olds.
§       Feeling ashamed of my nickname. I never felt that, will you believe? :D
§       Keeping quiet. That’s plain impossible.
§      Writing better posts.

And with this, the list ends, though there is a lot more to add, but I can’t recall them at the moment. And I am tired and I know this bored you to the core, and I am sorry.

By the way, the Birthday was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Some people just know the best of the best ways to make you smile. While I was all set to face the day with a gloomy look, with two class tests scheduled for the day, I think I forgot I have such splendid people around, and even away from me. I hope you get the gist. It was incredible, and it won’t be exaggerated if I call it the best in the last 2 decades. Thank you every single being, from those who tortured themselves for the 12 a.m. wish to those who remembered only once they read people leaving messages on my timeline :P

So, yeah, now you can proceed to type down some belated wishes. Some of you did wish me. In that case, let me know what more does 20 not mean.

Till next time

Deprived of the teenage feel