Monday, June 17, 2013

It isn't that Easy....


With juggled up emotions,
I try to search the meaning.
The meaning of this life,
It’s events and it’s connections.

With juggled up emotions,
I question myself,
About what I have been so far.
I question my decisions and actions.

With juggled up emotions,
I try to reclaim it all,
My value that I have lost
In my life’s cruel reactions.

With juggled up emotions,
I regret being a fool.
I regret putting myself
In unnecessary situations.

With juggled up emotions,
I gather myself up.
But in the end I fail
In times of reality and confrontations.



Sometimes life rolls us down to a level, where we come across a striking realization. A realization that trying to be happy and actually being happy are two different facets. Genuine happiness comes by if you are ignorant enough, not letting any malign bother you, and most importantly when you are capable of keeping calm in every situation. But, is it that easy, or even a bit of easy? For me, never. And yet I try, and have been trying to be fine, and if not fine, then molding myself to the extent that I don’t bug others with my rants. And while the former lost it’s ground recently, the latter too has started to tremble. Still I dare to believe I’ll catch it in time.

It really isn’t a cakewalk, appearing as a Oh-I-am-ever-so-happy sort, when in actual you are sheltering a heavy turmoil in the back of your mind. Unavoidable commotion in the just environment, an unexpected knock from your past, a frustrating outcome of some foolish acts, an inability to control few situations- all these are much more than enough to create a havoc in one’s life. One wrong move in tackling them , and no one can hold you back from stumbling down.

In such cases, this surely bucks me up to think that may be, just may be, the best is just a few efforts away..:
“Just when you are thinking that things are falling apart,
They may actually be falling into place.”

No, I won’t speak all brave and declare that “Come whatever may, I DON’T CARE”. At times I am on the verge of giving up, and even a tear or two is forced out, but then I am lucky enough to be surrounded by few people who are always there with their hands held out, in such moments of urgency of support. No doubt, I am forever grateful to them for even if sometimes they fail to come up with solutions, they are those patient audience to my outbursts. Their words always succeed in pacifying me, and I know they know they are loved for being themselves and making me realize that even after all those blows directed towards me, I am still valued by some, and that I mean something to someone.
And though in the end the battle is all mine, their inputs can never be ignored.

.....is what I need.
(Picture source: Googled)


With all the hopes, I’ll continue trying……to be HAPPY :), after all, may be I am fortunate enough to be spared the worst. And how can I forget to thank God for that! ;)


P.S.: Believe me people, venting out through writing definitely helps. And by the time I finished this up, I was completely over the sombre mood, and that means this post means nothing. Sorry for spoiling your time. :P


-Srishti

14 comments:

  1. it is good but u spared someone:(
    hmm life is all about learning ..
    u learnt and above all u got something to write upon...so basically it was a plot by almighty(m getting philosophical)..as it is always said ..everything happens for a reason :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chuck that someone, baby! You know na I have heart of gold? ;)

      Emm..yea, too philosophical! :P But thanks for these words, and for being there. :)

      Delete
  2. Haha! What a PS ;)
    I agree though. And it is not venting, you know? A rant would have been direct and thrashy, and this was neither. I could feel your emotions through that poem up there! Nicely written. :)

    You're right about it, that when you're ignorant, you're happier and I followed that too, but I didn't like being ignorant :P and so yeah, you have to constantly struggle but in the end, you do learn a lot of things. And just like you know, there will always be people who care for you and for whom you mean a lot. :D

    Keep writing! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ashna! :)
      You see I can't afford to lose my readers, so I avoid being thrashy. :P

      Yup, these people in my life are too precious, and make ne feel secure. :)

      Delete
  3. Kukki,I can't understand whether it's emotional, philosophical or literature... Anyway good that you are doing something in the direction of your dreams.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was kind of an emotional outburst, Papa...something I just felt like scribbling down.

      Thanks!

      Delete
  4. Absolutely loved the poem. And writing ALWAYS helps :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! :)
      Yup, it does, every time!

      Delete
  5. If this was a rant then perhaps this one surely deserved to be call beautiful.

    I agree writing always helps dear as it brings out the inner most feelings which perhaps we are scared to share with anyone around us verbally. The poem is exceptionally beautiful. You should definately write more of these.. seriously!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you so much Me! Even I was surprised at the way the poem came out to be.
      Will surely keep on writing.You'll see more of them. :)

      Delete
  6. This post does means a lot if it helped you regain your smile :-) And ya, loved the poem :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, nicely said! Thanks for these words.
      Am glad you like it, thank you. :)

      Delete
  7. (Y)!!.. lovely poem!

    by the way.. i never tried writing!! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Manan! ^_^

      May be you never felt the need to write. Do try next time you feel like punching someone :P

      Delete