Never had I experienced rain in winters. But now that’s a past. I did.
Recalling several events since the time I finished with high school, I have tried upon many things which though are petty but always barricaded me from entry. Since ages, I have been a soft spoken, sober and staying-within-the-limits kind of a girl. I feared breaking any rule- err...which I still do!- and stepping on the less taken path. Till about 2-3 years back, I bored a high level of dependence on my family, particularly the eldest of my elder brothers, for nearly everything. Even going up to a store and asking for a sachet of coffee required assimilating all the courage I ever had, and literally revising what to speak at the counter. Make me face a stranger (especially a guy) and all I would do is fumble with words, or sculpt into Monalisa. Placing an order on phone, or booking tickets, too seemed a heavy task.
To summarize, I was a tender, petrified, and not to forget, a sluggish lad, who hated being that!
It was in 11th that I switched from a public school to a Govt. one, partially aware of the situations awaiting me, and totally unprepared for them. You can guess the drastic change from a spoon-fed scenario to being a self-dependent one. There were times, in the very initial days when I was served with news of girls bitching at my back. In fact, on my very first day, I came home crying and wanted to withdraw my admission as I found the environment too frenzy and the students, a bit ill behaved and incorrigible. After days of unsuccessful arguments with Dad, realization dawned upon me- “This place is your truth for the next two years, love!”. I cursed myself for having decided to take up Arts, which led me to that school.
But the suffering paid off shockingly well. By the end of my term, in that all-girls school, I discovered the till then shadowed part of me. For the first time I held mike, on stage! I jumped down to host the New Talent Show, in the second month, when it registered to me, that I have no other talent to showcase :D. Regardless of how funny my get up promised to make me look, I agreed for a role in the school documentary. I volunteered to anchor our annual function, ignoring the fact that I am worth organizing a tomatina festival at stage. Fortunately, there were just claps :D. I finally got to score 90+ in two major (mind it! Board!) papers. Thus, no matter how agitated I feel, and will continue to feel, with the mention of the school, nothing helps me deny the fact that it did a great deal in carving out a different me. With time I accepted that I’ve grown up and that growing up brings it’s own set of responsibilities.
I have gradually started getting over my angst that hitherto held me back from venturing into new rings (Courtesy: Discover Your Destiny-book). And getting rain drenched in winters was one such adventure for me! :D. Lately, it struck me that following should not be the trend, confirm your own uniqueness.
I am giving time to my eternal loves- Reading & Writing, and a new addi(c)tion, Photography. After several “uh! I am bad at it”, I lastly graced this blog with few posts (You believe, I created it back in 2010! ), all thanks to few simple yet miraculous words from the superbly excellent writer- Ashna (Smile please! :) )
So this is me, who at present is hating her college with pure determination, from every nook and corner of her heart, but trying to live and love life outside it, sewing her own identification.
Bah! I know, I know....another post to prove my psychological sickness, but I was having an itching hand since past few days, urging me to write something. And so, the wintry monsoon on Saturday played a savior.
Thank-you, for stopping by. :)