Monday, February 18, 2013

Only Me

Amazing Day!

Never had I experienced rain in winters. But now that’s a past. I did.

Recalling several events since the time I finished with high school, I have tried upon many things which though are petty but always barricaded me from entry. Since ages, I have been a soft spoken, sober and staying-within-the-limits kind of a girl. I feared breaking any rule- err...which I still do!- and stepping on the less taken path. Till about 2-3 years back, I bored a high level of dependence on my family, particularly the eldest of my elder brothers, for nearly everything. Even going up to a store and asking for a sachet of coffee required assimilating all the courage I ever had, and literally revising what to speak at the counter. Make me face a stranger (especially a guy) and all I would do is fumble with words, or sculpt into Monalisa. Placing an order on phone, or booking tickets, too seemed a heavy task.
To summarize, I was a tender, petrified, and not to forget, a sluggish lad, who hated being that!

It was in 11th that I switched from a public school to a Govt. one, partially aware of the situations awaiting me, and totally unprepared for them. You can guess the drastic change from a spoon-fed scenario to being a self-dependent one. There were times, in the very initial days when I was served with news of girls bitching at my back. In fact, on my very first day, I came home crying and wanted to withdraw my admission as I found the environment too frenzy and the students, a bit ill behaved and incorrigible. After days of unsuccessful arguments with Dad, realization dawned upon me- “This place is your truth for the next two years, love!”. I cursed myself for having decided to take up Arts, which led me to that school.
But the suffering paid off shockingly well. By the end of my term, in that all-girls school, I discovered the till then shadowed part of me. For the first time I held mike, on stage! I jumped down to host the New Talent Show, in the second month, when it registered to me, that I have no other talent to showcase :D. Regardless of how funny my get up promised to make me look, I agreed for a role in the school documentary. I volunteered to anchor our annual function, ignoring the fact that I am worth organizing a tomatina festival at stage. Fortunately, there were just claps :D. I finally got to score 90+ in two major (mind it! Board!) papers. Thus, no matter how agitated I feel, and will continue to feel, with the mention of the school, nothing helps me deny the fact that it did a great deal in carving out a different me. With time I accepted that I’ve grown up and that growing up brings it’s own set of responsibilities.

And now, when I am in college, I believe I’ve evolved a lot. I don’t hesitate talking to random people (not that much). I can enter any place with a storm. I love arguing with storekeepers bad mouthing Mum. I rush through the jammed streets valiantly bickering with the Autowalas.
I have gradually started getting over my angst that hitherto held me back from venturing into new rings (Courtesy: Discover Your Destiny-book). And getting rain drenched in winters was one such adventure for me! :D. Lately, it struck me that following should not be the trend, confirm your own uniqueness.
 I am giving time to my eternal loves- Reading & Writing, and a new addi(c)tion, Photography. After several “uh! I am bad at it”, I lastly graced this blog with few posts (You believe, I created it back in 2010! ), all thanks to few simple yet miraculous words from the superbly excellent writer- Ashna (Smile please! :) ) 
(My recent clicks)

So this is me, who at present is hating her college with pure determination, from every nook and corner of her heart, but trying to live and love life outside it, sewing her own identification.

Bah! I know, I know....another post to prove my psychological sickness, but I was having an itching hand since past few days, urging me to write something. And so, the wintry monsoon on Saturday played a savior.
Thank-you, for stopping by. :)



  1. People around us and the atmosphere teaches us a lot of things.

    And you seem to be doing pretty good, despite you hating your college.

    I don't think this is anything about the psychological sickness. I am pretty sure most of the people have faced with such situations. After all, Life is Such, teaching the hard way. Btw, Count me in that, if you term it that way.

    So Winter Monsoon! Experienced that, but still I am having an itching hand.

    Take Care and Keep Writing. :)

  2. Heyee! Thank-you Ajay! :)
    Thanks for your time and comment. Yea..I second your thoughts...but not everyone has the same personality. I was on the extreme side of introversion.
    Keep reading! :)

    1. Agreed, Not everyone has the same personality.
      But somethings synchronize. Or just that some habits/things are similar.

      I have got all the time in the world for now. :P
      You are welcome, btw.

      Yeah, I intend to keep reading. :)
      But you just have to keep writing. :D

  3. Haha! I'll make sure I don't disappoint you on that note. :)

  4. This is such a cute post! Your psychological talks are actually fun to read and I'm sure those are the ones you enjoy writing the most ;) I love how you say "I don’t hesitate talking to random people (not that much). I can enter any place with a storm." Haha! That's exactly what happened with me. It's kind of funny when you think about it (specially when you leave college and think about it later. Like you're thinking about your school). It's just that we should make the most of what we're getting and you're doing it right. ;) There will be many more such opportunities, so enjoy! :)

    PS- That was so kind of you to mention me. I didn't even do anything! Lovely surprise, though. I was reading the post and when I reached that part, I went "ooohh... really?" :P And it made me smile even before you said so! Thanks so much! :D Stay happy!

  5. Hehe. Thanks for this sweet comment. (I always wait for it :D)
    You may not accept..but you did a lot! You actually made me realise my love for writing :P
    I wasn't thinking of blogging even Thank-you! :)