Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Towards the End......

Another year preparing for an end, hopefully for a happy one.One of those few ends, which gives out a mixed feeling- Happiness for the new times, sorrow for the times leaving behind.
The year for me, can be safely bracketed as an eventful one, a year I’ll look back to with frowns equal to smiles. Plenty of memories made, few lessons learnt, handful of them unlearnt, the year will be happily remembered for new friends made, new interests born, new smiles spread,new fears discovered, moments lived, tears wasted, actions regretted, PJs cracked, laughs shared and a lot more.

The same time around, the last year I decided to give my blog a new life, another way to tell that the blog had it’s first re-birth anniversary...errmm...a week back. :S. I say rebirth as originally it was created way back in 2010, after which it sheltered just a couple of useless posts. It was only last year when the world was rumoured to end and God, in a hurry, decided to send to me the spare brains he had kept and I finally started posting here. Great story, no?:P. It’s been an year, an year since I am living a creative life, reading and knowing some incredible talents, and finding in a few of them, amazing friends. It had been a great experience, I declare, helping me shape my skills better and realizing new opportunities. I love the year the most for being able to read more novels, something I couldn’t manage earlier. Goodreads Challenge is perhaps the lone challenge I’ve ever completed. :D And yes, an achievement this year was finally getting to visit a church, that too on Christmas and the experience being WHOA!

The year had been helpful in encouraging me to break the shackles, and exploring life, trying things I was earlier reluctant to. A lot still needs to be done but I’m glad to have stepped up a bit, and cleared the mist. I am overjoyed to have discovered that I can take, if not outstanding, then pretty good pictures, and that I can write good, good enough for people to appreciate and encourage me for more. Bloggers, all of you, thank you very much. You are one lot of amazing people. :)

Almost every season of the year witnessed a week, with me battling a heavy dilemma, questioning the worth of my life. I can be seriously dramatic at times, I tell you! And these phases were the truly disturbing ones. The coming year, I wish to get rid of them, buck up a little and LIVE life.

Finally, Happy Birthday to the dear blog, and a good bye to 2013!

A year left behind, with memories both good and bad.
Let us move ahead with joy from the good and lessons from the bad.
With lots of hopes and smiles, let us welcome the New Year!

Amidst all this, let’s send a prayer up there to God, for choosing us for this life. Amen!

This year, I need to:

Happy Days, amigos!


Happy Birthday Dost! :)

Dear dimpled-cheek friend,

Being friends with someone since 16 year, isn’t that a pretty boastful fact? I guess it is. And am I not glad to share this achievement with you? Obviously NOT! Do I look that dumb?....Okay, okay, I am!
True we weren’t those sharing everything,’ from hair clips to cold drink sips’ kind of friends, back in schools, but I find this bond special for the mere reason that you are my first ever school friend. And putting at the top of all the confessions I have for you today, I actually believed you to be my best friend back then, the kindergarten days. That’s because my concept of best friend was limited to having that one friend whom you talk to each day at school, the one you love to share seat and tiffin with, and the one who calls you for updates when she misses a day at school or vice versa.
I still remember being ‘quiet’  fond of you in those days, for reasons I don’t remember. May be because you were had cute dimpled cheeks, may be because you were a teacher’s favourite popular kid, or may be because you were that ‘best friend’. From what I can recall, it was possibly in 2nd standard that our classes shuffled and we were separated. It was a big thing for me. We did got together again after 2 years, but things appeared with a difference to my childish heart. The fondness was very much alive, but I felt threatened, threatened of the new people in your life. I felt having lost a friend to them. Call it insecurity if you wish to. Probably it was because tragic shortage of friends in my own life. Sanely enough, I never blamed you for that. You weren’t wrong in any way, mingling with me the same way.
A year more, and I left the school. The only thing keeping us in touch were birthday wishes, thankfully! And I don’t know what chord it was that struck between us that last few years saw the best of our friendship. Among the few commendable things about me I think this is one too that Ii didn’t choose to lose you to change of city and school. And just yesterday when you acknowledged me with the fact that I am one of your special friends, it meant a lot more than a lot, really. You know, this makes to one of the best things you hear towards the end of a year. I love you, dost! :D ‘Dost’- Isn’t that what you often address me as, and what you use while bucking me up to study ‘something’ for my exams? Never told you but I find it kind of cute.

You are one friend who never succeeds in upsetting me. I mean, remember two years back we had recently started bonding greatly and I using my common sense assumed you’ll be remembering my birthday, but applauses, you didn’t. And the next day you called, and I thought ‘Okay, it’s fine. May be she got caught up with some work’ But boy! You idiot didn’t have a clue that the person you are so merrily chatting with was actually an offering of the previous day! But, know what, I didn’t mind and that rarely happens. And wonderful it was that you kept the tragedy of that day alive in your mind just to be on time on the next birthday. Cute, again! :D
Thinking of you, I can never forget our recent get together, after a great hiatus of 8 years! Dramatically speaking, it felt we have hardly been away for that long. You already know how grateful I am to you for filling that short trip with a long list of memories worth attending back.

Now , I am short of words yet again. I wasn’t really sure of writing all this to you, and it was probable enough for the unfinished post to be satisfied sitting in the draft section. But, the kind-hearted person that I am, I took the burden of highlighting a smile on your face at a time when you are foolishly sulking on your special day for being away from home. I can understand your misery, but cheer up dude, read my blog and be happy! :P
And here, I pledge to be the same irritating friend with a boring voice for all the years that plan to harass this world with.

Finally,<3  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOST! :) <3

P.S.: Sorry re, words have started ditching me and this was all I could come up with. I know you loved even this a lot, but out of humility and love for postscripts and to stretch the post a few words longer, this was required. :P

Yours lovingly awesome,


Sunday, December 15, 2013

To Jerry...from Tom ;)

One in a million
Who can alone tackle a billion
Yes, it’s you – Shubhanshu
By heart who is very true
You are among the race,
Of brains with high pace
When your temper goes high
Its better to bid a bye
A silent killer to me
My frown gives you glee
But alas! You are my brother
Yea, you  can’t be succeeded by some other ;)

Dude! Happy Marriageable Age! :P

Remember our childhood? Yea, the same days when we were known as  the human version of the great Tom & Jerry- a constant blockage to each other, but nonetheless none of them being able to carry on without the other. A lot seems new today, but am glad we are still the same- Me, Tom, and you, Jerry. And by the way, Jerry is the more evil one (the silent killer).

Our equation, I know is like all bro-sis duos, a real webbed one to comprehend. To many outside the  home, we appear those ideal kids of ideal parents, but only these parents know what WE interpret from this idealism. You have given me pounds of headache all these years, and here I confess, there were times I really wished Harry taught me some magic spells to, obviously, vanish you :P
But today, I am glad he didn’t, right? I won’t ever say that whatever I am today (which equals to nothing) is all because of you because watching you study (course) books like attending to a religious epic, inspired me to take the risk too, and blah blah, because…pause…it didn’t! But yes, all the encouragement you chose to enrich me with in the recent days, mean a lot! You simply are loved for that. And yes, even if I have used all kinds of martial arts on you to thank you for all the annoyance that you threw on my way, I now feel I don’t really mind. Life would have been plain boring without you yaar. (That doesn't mean I am not going to use my fighting skills anymore!)

Today,as you grow up I have decided to set you free of all the charges- for being that brilliant-at-school kid whose high scores caused me mental sores, for pricking me at each and every thing I did, for stuffing me all the school stories (read: he scored more in this paper, and she performed better) and dozing off, as soon as I started with mine, for compelling an innocent soul like me to turn violent, and yes, for being a better photographer than me (okay, this was added just like that).

So, Maa’s eternal favourite and Dad’s Shaukeen Buddhe, you should know by now that you are one of the best thing that happened to them, after me obviously (Bhaiya says, after him too). Now for being a fear unleashing obedient kid (I don’t know what that means), and for being a distinctly lovable brother to two crazingly awesome people, Thank you very much!

Since your b'day came too early this time, I couldn't manage time from my busy schedule of nothingness to write some spell bounding, tear-attracting outstanding piece. So do away with these for this time:

Oh yeah, we look cool, right? ;)


Complaining about me, I bet!

Aaiye hum aur aap khelte hain Kaun Banega Crorepati!


P.S.: I hope you know this post is a bribe for what I want you to get for me :P
P.P.S.: Sheroo says Bow-Wow!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Just this one time (Flash Fiction)

(The narration is from a male's point of view)

I walked past her deliberately, adjusting the bangs of my hair. Just like always. Faintly hoping to catch her attention. I even had put up this new fragrance in the market and  the hair looked appreciable too. “Just this one time”, I muttered, praying as I moved further.

And finally! Yes! She did notice this time, when she called out from behind me, “Hey!”.
I did a happy jig with my heart as I turned around to see her walking closer to me, trying to conceal my excited smile.

And the next moment she put forward her hand and said, “Bhaiya, your keys. They fell off from your pocket, I guess.” And the smile eventually disappeared.


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Happiness is....:)

Whenever I unintentionally go on a blog vacation, I am often  hammered by this thought that now I’ll definitely lose my readers. No that I am a popularity seeker but I certainly don’t like making an unread post. The lovely few who read the blog, your comments mean a lot to me. So, yes, while I was away mourning over my useless thinking, I received this ‘You are loved’ reminder sent in by a blogger (writer), whom by the way I adore and admire a lot, in the form of this Liebster Award. Even though she doesn’t like me thanking her for this over and over again, a hug attached thank you Privy! :)
I know I deserved this :P (It didn’t sound too boastful, right?)

Ok, it’s the question time now. And I am very much jobless and happy to do that :P. Here we go then :

· What kind of genre do you love to read and what genre can you write better?
      I am hooked up to young adult novels these days. There’s no particular genre.You see, if a book is absorbing, I’ll anyway get soaked. But I have always felt this likeness for (Auto)Biographies but ironically, haven’t read much of them.
And for writing. To be true. I am too unsure. Still experimenting. :/

· What has been the happiest moment in your blogging journey?
The comments I receive, they have always been uplifting. But there are messages sent to me by few lovely people after they read a post or two. That definitely speaks for itself and gives this ‘on the seventh sky’ feeling. :)

· What’s your favourite quote? Can be from a book or otherwise.
As stated somewhere earlier too, I fail at remembering quotes. Wait, I’ll google it from the bits I remember :P
Well there are lot many I have come to like. I’ll list the one I remember:
“Just when you think things are falling apart,
They may actually be falling into place”

And there is this one I quoted myself, hoping for the world to like it :D
“Worries instilled in the heart
But I fake well being
All it takes is a smile
May be that’s the art of living”

· Name atleast one side effect of blogging.
      You feel kind of guilty, when away from it for long.

· What is the weirdest thing you have ever done or seen in a restaurant?
      As stupid as it may sound, I find clicking in restaurants weird. I mean, eat your food no! But I have done it :P

· If you could change one thing about a loved one, who and what would that be?
There are heaps of flaws in me alone. I better work on those first. :)

· If you could categorize bloggers in some categories, what categories would they be?
Awesome people. (That’s the only word that comes first to my mind :D)

· Apart from writing, what is doing that one thing that gives you utmost satisfaction?
I am such a fickle minded being, that I can’t settle and be happy with one thing. But it’s reading, photography, whining, jabbering and sleeping that I enjoy with all my heart.

· If you went, invisible for a day, what fun things would you want to do?
Sneak away carts of pizzas from Domino’s :D

· Name a book you read but wish you hadn’t wasted your time on it?
There really is one such book. But maintaining the good heartedness of me, I won’t name it. :P

I just noticed I use a lot of ‘:P’. Its becoming an obsession or something. Again :P.
Passing on the badge to well deserved bloggers, here I do the deed in the hope of getting cartloads of blessings (and readership for the blog) in return.

Usama (I don't expect you to acknowledge it, this year :P)
My dear friend, Alokita, who sadly gets to blog not so often :(

Congrats, amigos! Spread the love, and yes do answer the same above questions, simply because I am too lazy to frame new ones.


Monday, December 9, 2013

Capsuling the Memorabilias

Having exams at such irregular intervals and irrelevant shuffling of dates make it difficult to decide whether to study or to enjoy. And I end up doing none of these with full focus. Because, one, the sincere mind says I shouldn’t be enjoying while my sem exams are still on, and two, how can I possibly study when I have so many days in hand! :P So it’s going the latter way. ;)
Amidst this frustration that the frequent changes in exam dates is giving me, apart from hating the world around me, I was missing writing. And since I was so busy using my creative cell building ideas on how to demolish my university, I certainly was short on blabbers to share with you people. Enters an extraordinarily amazing friend, with her amazingly extraordinary idea (Phew! It’s so tough deciding on words to praise you, if you are reading this :P). Yes, so this amazing (again!) friend gave me this topic to write on which says “If you had to bury a time capsule today, what are the things you’d put in and why?”. These things are to be the one that I’ll want to come back to in a few years. Got me thinking, obviously as I thought how she comes with such ideas while I’ll mostly give a stupid clichéd prompt to anyone if he/she ever considers asking me. By the way, what made it easy was having to write about ‘material stuffs’. Being the random stuffs hoarder that I am, I had plenty to choose from. Read along then. :D

“I have no idea what or where I will be tomorrow,
But my memories will certainly help me remember
What I Am today”

  • All the photo albums holding our flashbacks.( Going by the count of how many of them we have, I’m afraid I may have to close the capsule at this point itself). Old photos have always been generous to me. They kind of give me solace when I am in a nasty state of mind, which is most of my living times. So, I want to keep them safe.
  • A few selected books. As all I won’t fit I’ll choose a few which I literally don’t want to lend to anyone. It has to be:  A Walk to Remember, Those Pricey Thakur Girls, The Night Train at Deoli, A thing Beyond Forever, Discover Your Destiny, The Other Side of the Table, The Fault in our Stars, which by the way I am still reading and am already in love with. So, I want to keep these safe.
  • The great pile of interior décor magazines which I have been devouring since years. These are all my dad’s collection, just out of hobby and I simply love drooling at the phenomenal designs. SO, I want to keep them safe.
  • A  pocket dictionary I always carried with me when in secondary school. It not only reminds me of the school but also consoles in a way that I was at least remembered for the dictionary, if not for anything else.
  • All the gifts ever received. However much mother tries to make my cupboard look presentable, she fails to. Burying them safe will lessen her headache, at least.
  • The wrapping papers of these gifts, Ah, well, it’s a hobby to store them *grinning sheepishly*.
  • Added to the gifts, all the cards and letters addressed to me. Who won’t love the effort put in especially for them? So, I want to keep them safe.
  • My hoard of Friendship Bands. This again irks mother. But I get kind of emotional when it comes to such stuffs, you know. (In case) Even if a friend gave me a band just for the sake of Friendship Day, I love to assume it was especially picked up for me. So, I want to keep them safe. :)
  • My mother’s Sarees. I like almost all of them, and unless and until it is for someone needy, I don’t like it if she gives them away to anyone. So, I want to keep them safe.
  • A few poems by me addressed to people who deserved it then but perhaps no more now. I want to keep them away. I don’t want to feel that smile that unknowingly creeps upon my face whenever I read them, ‘cause when reality strikes, it hurts. But anyway, I’d like to come back to these a few years down the line just to revisit my rhymes. C’mon! I have to love my work. :P
  • My very first diary. Even if I feel embarrassed reading my pathetic diary entries dated to 7 years back, it’s well, my first diary! So, I want to keep it safe, may be to give tips to my kids on “How to avoid getting embarrassed at your childhood childishness when you grow up”.
  • My slam books. I have always loved them for their sheer cuteness.
  • My bracelets and bangles. Before mother puts them all away I need to keep them safe.
  • Talking about right now, I’d definitely like to pack the candies and chocolates mother has hidden from me. I’ve been searching the box since morning, but all I got was trigger in my hunger. Huh! -_-. I just wish I could plant a chocolate tree. Wouldn’t that be delicious? Waking up to the smell of chocolates as the wind sways the tree’s branches, and then  grabbing one for each course of meal. ;)
  • The clothes of me and my brothers as a kid. Mother loves them and so, I want to keep them safe. :)
  • A Pair of my handkerchiefs. Okay, this is lame, but I just can’t step out anywhere without a hanky with me and ironically, I lose them most of the times. So, keeping a pair safe somewhere would at least rescue me in emergencies. :P
  • The awesome comments I am going to get on this post, I want to take a print out and pack them away. If you know what I mean :P

Eeeps! The post didn’t turn out as I actually wanted it to. Call it the consequence of the hiatus, I felt off-track :/.You can assume I was lying when I said I have plenty to choose from, because when I was finally set go on listing the stuffs, I had a hard time with the lethargic brain and this is what it delivered. I guess there is more to the list but I couldn’t gather things at the moment. :-$. Sorry, the amazing friend, for coming up with THIS on your incredible prompt. But I am happy, you know. I finally did write something. So, YAY to that!

P.S.:  I am currently on this ‘Give me prompt and I will give you a post’ mode. So anyone of you willing to help, please come forward. You will be specially  blessed by Mata Rani :P
P.P.S.: Finally the blog has a FB page, and finally I am updating it here. You can now catch me here: My Wordly Nest 

Monday, November 4, 2013

Flash Fiction

Smita sat there facing the mirror, blushing all along as women and  girls of all age surrounded her. Some giving the finishing touches to her make up while some gladly teasing her about how the groom looked that night.

Just then Avni entered the room to call everyone out. Noticing the bride she called out naughtily, “ Just look at yourself Dadi Maa! It’s your 50th Anniversary  and you are shying like a first timer!”. And Smita just blushed deeper at her grand daughter’s words, while Avni laughed out loud enveloping her in an affectionate hug.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

And I know I am not the only one ;)

This one goes to one of the liveliest persons I’ve come to love in my life. Ever-radiant with her pair of thirty-two shining brightly, she makes my college life worth bearing. I always thought I knew the best PJs. Then I met her. :P
A bubbly-lovely buddy, this one goes to you Ita!

Picture Source: GOOGLE

I laugh at almost anything
And beam at my stupidity
But then you too laugh with me,
And I know I am not the only one

I wail at the pile of pending works
And feel the need to pull off my hair
But then I remember you,
And I know I am not the only one

I sometimes feel lost
And stare at a blank future
But then you express the same worry,
And I know I am not the only one

I often wonder if I’ll forever be single
And feel both cool and edgy at the thought
But then you share the ditto feeling,
And I know I am not the only one

I detest the girls always glued to their phones
And wonder what they actually talk
But then you give the same look,
And I know I am not the only one

I deeply hate a particular teacher
For his heartbreaking accent and annoying glares
But then you mutter the same curses,
And I know I am not the only one

I savour everyone’s lunch
Like a religious call
But then you are ahead of me,
And I know I am not the only one

I wait for a movie,
More because of the hero’s charm
But then you too come prepared with his history,
And I know I am not the only one

I feel depressed at the rising prices
Of street foods and every other thing
But then you search for a cheaper option,
And I know I am not the only one

I crack the silliest of the jokes
And pout when there is no laugh
But then you are worse than me,
And I know I am not the only one

I always feel lucky
To have such a happening friend
But then yours is the same fate,
And I know I am not the only one ;)

                                                                                                         - Srishti

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. We give out themes for creative writing each weekend for Indian bloggers.

Friday, October 18, 2013

After a long time

First of all, imagine me with my face hung down with shame, mumbling apologies to the very kind blogger friend who passed on this lovely Blogger Award to me,, for being so late in acknowledging it :(.
Believe me when I say this award means a lot because it’s a rare achievement when people call me optimistic. I am glad that may be not in face to face conversations, but at least through my words people spot some positivism in me. So, I thank you Ashna for this! :)

Now, now, *rubbing the palms together in excitement* I really am looking forward to answering the questions tagged along with the post. I simply love doing that. Feels like I am some celebrity replying to one-liners and sorts, especially prepared for me (Okay, they aren't exclusively for me but hey, what’s the harm in assuming!)
Now with no more delay, let’s start the play. What say? (Pathetic rhyme, I know!)
Here you go, my reply to these intelligent questions, as I accept the Positive Blog Award. :)

1. Which post that you have written on your blog is your most favorite of all and why?
 As much as I would like to act smart, and answer “My next post”, I actually can’t say that. You know how  much I’ve been whining around these days :P. I’ll rather choose one of the 55ers written by me. The content  was close to my heart. Add to that the poem on my childhood, The Little Me, as I was surprised how I  summed up a lot from my childhood in those few lines.
2. Which post that I have written on my blog is your favorite and why? 
 Now that’s a real tough question. You probably know how sincerely I stalk your blog, and profile too ;). To  choose one post, I’ll go with Memories, simply for the heartfelt emotions you have put in there. I have a long  list of other posts too, some that made me laugh, some that made me think, and some that made me identify  with you, but huh! So little space!
3. How would you define love,hope faith and life in one sentence?
 Love, hope and faith- a right proportion of the three and you know you are living a Life. :)
4. What is that one thing you can’t tolerate in a person?
 Trying to dominate others’ thoughts. It’s okay if you are living an awesome life with your ideals and thoughts  but you can't force them on people. Share it with the others.All are capable of choosing for themselves.
5. What defines YOU in one word?
 Confused :D (I have confusion over this too :P)
6. If we were to meet somewhere out of the blue, what would you say to me? How would you identify me, if  you had to approach me and confirm if it is Ashna indeed?
 Even though those smart pics on FB already tell me how you look like, I’ll doubt if it’s really you in front of  me. In general case I’ll take years to decide whether to approach you or not, and by the time I finalize you  might have already left :P. But sidekicking this habit of mine, I’ll rather approach you with a “Hey, if I am not  wrong, you are Ashna, Ashna Banga?”, while simultaneously praying in mind to be saved from any e  embarrassment. And yes, while approaching you I’ll also have a good look and check whether you have  that Rapunzel hair or not :P.
7. Do you believe that people are allowed to break your heart in a relationship?
 No, I’d never want that. Well, who wants that anyway? But it’s my responsibility too to make sure I am not  giving away reasons for the other person to do that.
8. What is that one thing that you love about yourself?
 Few remnant traits of the 18th century civilians in me :D.
 And one more thing, that I was reminded of when I read your reply to this one. I don’t stay angry for too  long. This is partially because I can’t stay quiet and when at home I get upset, just a few minutes in my room  (with the door shut in anger), and I creep out expecting some attention :P.
 Socially, I hardly get into tussle with people (*touchwood*), obviously if you don’t count the loud  fights  with brothers :D.
9. How productive are you? What do you follow in order to be productive?
 To be true, not much. I am satisfactorily full when it comes to having ideas. But they seldom come out live.  And that’s something I hate about myself.
 I sometimes view a thing from the consequential end to come up with a satisfying result.
10. How did you come across my blog and what was your first thought on my blog and me?
 Ah! This is the best of all the questions because yours was the first blog that I gave a good time to read. It  was like while travelling around the FOSK page, I came across a post link by Rachit. And from his blog, I  found you. And I am glad :).
 The word ‘young’ in Pages from a Young Diary caught my attention because at that time I was fascinated  by everything young! :D. And obviously I found both you and your blog, amazing or else I would not have  been typing the answers here (I hope you get what I mean ;) ).

 I’ll now happily knock some other blog doors, to spread some positivism. Here,  congratulations Positive  Bloggers:
 Privy Trifles at Memoirs of Me and Reviews & Musings, for she is an epitome of love. She  may not even  realize but will teach you a lot about life that you otherwise come across  but fail to notice. She ‘lives’ life.
 Aaekay at A blog To Remember. Taking life as it comes, she has set out great examples  many a times.

Keep smiling :)
Be Positive ;)



Thursday, October 17, 2013

The wrong steps :-/

Hello people!
*a sheepish grin*

I know, I know, I deserve a big smack on my head for breaking those sort of promises I made in a recent post, gathering myself like some cadet on a mission and declaring how I am no more going to give my pen and ‘random-thought’ notebook a hard time, and being present here with a post every weekend. I was set back in the first schedule itself. *SIGH* :(. And this time I can’t even blame the college (nothing to dance about dear college, I’ll take a toll on you pretty soon *muhahaha*).
Okay, so I have no such excuses to justify the sin. I was just being overly lazy, greedily consuming the vacation time like I was getting it after a zillion births. And to prove this, I have loads of untouched pending assignments and preparation too. How ridiculous it is that we students plan so much before the vacations, but eventually end up buried under another sack full of never-interesting works -_-.

Well, on this last day of vacations the Almighty showered upon me another round of realization, which talks of how I’ve mastered the art of procrastination. I mean, who in her sane and sincere state decides to type away random posts like this, when she has two class tests, two presentations, and still not known number of other submissions lined up for the next week. But hey! It was Durga Pooja, and my house looks nothing less than a temple at this time of the year (Yay! Got a point.). But giving it a detailed thought, would it have actually helped if  I wasn’t caught up in the pooja hustle bustle? I guess not. And that’s the worrying point. I hardly study.
Apart from the vocal transmission of lectures at college, which some teachers, the Research ‘scholars’ are pathetic at, I rarely attend to any other source of knowledge. Okay, I admit I have never been a diligently sincere student, but even this is least expected of me by some. And that is what hurts, not standing even somewhere near the expectation radar. And by these “some” I mean the family. Amidst all these, I even felt like giving out a cry for what I have made of myself- a totally weary and uninterested kid. The only appreciable thing I did this vacation was going for some outing (Phew! Thank God! SOMETHING good).

And yes, (un)fortunately, I have few friends and college mates who, I think under effect of some wrong medication, think I belong to the brainy clan of our batch. Heck! If anyone of you is reading this, please look beyond my spectacles. There stays an ever-sleeping pair of eyes! Agree, I sometime (or every time?) act too obedient and I-don’t-know-how-to-break-rules type but here, listen everyone, I do that not because I am afraid of staining my repu or anything, but because I just don’t feel like taking the twisted away.
But but, quite ironic to my above confession, I am changing. Yes, I have walked a few steps into the ‘good girl gone bad’ crowd (obviously my interpretation of the line is fairly..ahem..nice) and it’s just not me! *a loud wail*. And it’s just not about these rules and disciplines. In the light of trying on new things, I believe I am going too far. I guess I have attempted to a lot of changes, all at once and I need to undo that. It’s a change for some good when I am slowly succeeding in battling the OCDic in me but not when dumping the miser in me. I don’t know what went wrong in the circuit of my brain that I suddenly started hating this image of a miser. I mean, what’s bad if I am one. After all, it’s one of those things I am famous for. Why let the fame slip away? :P So, thanks to a recent eye-opening incident, I am back to my ‘OMG! That’s too costly’ self, and that’s a dream ruining alarm for all those foodies planning to bankrupt me on my next b’day. I already have a good list of excuses prepared B-).

So as I was saying, the changes! While I should be bringing changes on fronts like my views about my ownself, I find myself leaping towards the materialistic ones. It’s nice if you know you are changing for good, but what when you don’t know where it’s actually leading to? I am more inclined towards the latter unknown phase I guess. I am picking on some new arenas, and in the process stampeding my ideals. Am I supposed to do that? Well, the intellect says no. So, no. I am crossing out the unnecessary developments. Hoping for some success. :-!

And the pending works, and projects and blah and blah? What? I have always been like this! :P
Okay, okay. That’s where I actually need to change, no? Well, then I hope my next post is topped with some happy elements like how I rocked at the presentations, and how I gave the best paper ever! Me and my unrealistic dreams! Bah! But still people, tell  me. Is it like this with everyone? :-! Share your experiences please, and some actually working tips to help me focus. Pretty please?


Confused and running out of brain,


Saturday, October 5, 2013

For the Best One :)

My ray of sunshine
Even on the darkest way
A patient listener
To all the matters of my dismay
A slight push from your side
And I know I’ll win every fray
Here’s a bit from me
On your special day!

Surprising it is that I am struggling to form sentences to write for you mom, when I actually had a lot of it already prepared in my mind. But then that’s what you know your daughter is  like- A scholar in unlearning things, no? :D. Well, there are still loads I can write, like, you are not among, but the best and the most beautiful person in my life, and I mean it when I say this. There are times I feel I have an invisible string attached to you. Yes, something not seen but readily felt. How it is then that at times you know even better of me than myself, how you guess what’s eating my brain up even before I figure it out, how you are right most of the time when you make a guess on how my paper went, as soon as I enter the house. ‘Most of the time’-because you seldom are wrong as well :P but then never did it happen that I could fool you with a sullen face  saying “Bohot bekar exam tha :(. You caught me every time! How is it that you knew (as a kid) I was about to cry over phone, whenever you were away from home? It’s all because of that string, I believe!

A pic from my birthday, for your birthday :P
(You know how distinct of a creature your daughter is)

Mom, I love you that much that just your presence around makes me feel secure. In any grave situation, you are like that support which pops up just in time. And I never told you but the sound of your anklets too gives me that ‘mum’s around’ assurance. I clearly remember how you listened to me, amidst your chores, every other day when back from school  I laid down with my narrations on how bad a certain teacher was or how I once again failed to answer in class. Even though you don’t have the best of the solutions but I still like to stuff you  up with the betrayals and ditching I face. And that is why Mom, however much laughs and jokes I share with my friends, lying with my head in your lap is the soothing most moment in the whole day. And I’ll never part with that, even after your complaints that I am no more the light little kid of 90s. :D.

*True that I used to crib listening to the same lines coming from you, usually at the same time of the day, but now I actually smile at those. It’s like my breakfast is incomplete unless your dose of “Ehsaan kar rahi ho na khane pe”, and your “Kya karein iss ladki kaa” actually reminds me of your level of tolerance. And of course, the best of all “Doosre ghar jaogi tab pata chalega”, which makes me wonder why will I even do that in the first place! :P. Yes I am definitely not an ideal child, being the most disobedient head hammering tension of your life, but you are undeniably an ideal Mom. Who else would have been able to humanize such a child, otherwise? ;) And yes, for all that silly fights I have with you, it hurts me more than anything for being so bad-tempered and every single time I wish I get to undo the scenes. I hope I soon outgrow this ugly trait of mine. Sorry maa! :/

You don’t read my blog, but every time you hear from people praising my efforts, I know I’ve made you proud. I have felt that clearly, and you must know that I am prouder of myself just because of the fact that I am the reason for that glint in your eyes. I promise to make sure that never goes dim. I know behind every line of yours that conveys my good-for-nothingness, there lies a hope for my bright future, and a little pride for my minute achievements. Just don’t let that hope die.
And one more time- I love you Maa! :’)

P.S.: It was my mum’s happy happy birthday last Friday, and while I failed to write this for her that day (courtesy: dear college), I was determined not to dump the idea. After all, the love is the same everyday!

*While it was still pending from my side to make this post for my mother, I came across this wonderful piece Dhara from 'My Cactus Dress',  wrote for her Mom. For the part regarding mother’s love for such evergreen dialogues, all credits to you and your awesome blog, Dhara :).


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Realisations & Comeback :)

Today Yesterday, during one of those random-thoughts session of mine, where I was rethinking on my god-knows-how-much-old plan of giving tuitions to the kids in my locality, I had this sudden realization of how pathetically I have linked myself off writing. Now you may wonder how are the two linked. Let me explain….As I was telling, the tuitions, yes! What possibly am I capable of teaching? Maths? How in a normal state of mind can you even think so!! O_o Okay, pardon the exaggeration but I don’t think any sane kid would trust me with numbers. Science? Hell no!  Social? Probably, but who would want tuitions for that!  English? Yes, certainly and only.  And since I am naturally good at being bad at mostly all arts, except the art of sleeping, so I firmly believe I’ll remain forever unemployed in that field.
So as I was ‘re’thinking about this whole thing, I came up with the idea of holding regular writing sessions for these kids (my assumed students), where they’ll write about daily happenings in life, or about anything that catches their attention in the whole day, from their class mate’s new pencil box to their teacher’s mismatched slippers :P…in either language, English or Hindi. The basic idea behind the session clearly was to develop a practice of writing. BUT BUT BUT, just then it hit me- Who IS thinking of all this? Me, who hasn’t written a single good content in the past 1 and a half months? :O Shame that I claim that my writings will someday bring me fame -_-. I mean, yeah it’s obvious I hate my college for draining me out of all time and energy that I can put in blogging and stuffs,and I also hate all life-disturbing events/calamities (will elaborate some other time), but I believe it’s highly lazy of me to not even make a single proper entry  in my ‘random thoughts bearing’ notebook, and just making a presence here with a couple of flop posts for blog competitions :/. Throughout the day, there are several ideas and lines that knock on my brain, but I hardly care to give them a written form. How insensitive, no? They can size up into a nice write up, I guess but it’s sheer stupidity on my part. You believe, there are few entries I tried making in the past month and they are still hung mid-way. Pity!

So now, though I am not promising, but I will write every day, anything,  and will make sure something from this anything turns into a blog post in the weekends- a much needed self-deal :D. Yes folks! That means I am ‘literally’ alive, dying to get back here. I will soon, or let’s say I already am :D.
About the tuitions? I am stillll thinking………:P

P.S.: Since you already took the pain to let your eyes strain, why not leave a comment on this post so mundane? (Anything for a rhyme :P). I seriously am bored of those silly mails from silly sites, ruling my silly mailbox. And that’s one of the reasons too, why I made this post :P, the other being  that I missed this place! :’)

P.P.S: I really don’t believe I actually wrote something. Wow! :D

Thanks for your time.
Keep smiling.

                                                                               -  Srishti